Everyone seems to be watching the "Cocaine Bear" trailer. I haven't felt this cultural vibe since the "Snakes on a Plane" trailer came out in 2006.
For those who doubt the "based on a true story" assertion, the NYT has "Yes, ‘Cocaine Bear’ Was Real. Here’s the Back Story. Nearly 40 years after a 175-pound black bear found and ingested cocaine in a Georgia forest, the drug binge has inspired a movie."
The movie does add some things. Here's the barebones original story:
ADDED: From my November 2006 blog post, "It's time for calm reflection about... 'Snakes on a Plane'":
The movie promoted the hype more than the hype promoted the movie. Is this the way things will be in the future, with "instant, mutable, unmoored" doings on the web taking the place of thought-out cultural productions like movies? I wonder.
There's something about getting absorbed into the web that changes the whole structure of your mind, I think. (And I acknowledge the theory out there -- I read it on the web! -- that, in my personal case, I'm simply crazy. So don't go by just me.) I have lost all taste for things that are planned out and long. I no longer want to sit through anything. Once there's a script that's going to be followed, I'm looking around for something to click to see what else is happening.
Ha ha. That was 16 years ago. After 16 more years, how much more instant, mutable, unmoored are we?
57 Comments on Althouse: Should you watch the monotonous 3+ hour 1975 feminist movie that hit #1 on the Sight & Sound poll or is it cinema enough to watch the 2-minute trailer for "Cocaine Bear"?
HA HA HA HA HA
oh Lord
and yes, making a trailer is definitely an art form
no question about it
absolutely an art form
one that's escaped my book
didn't even occur to me
thanks for wrecking my movie book again Althouse!
(put trailers in)
holy shit"
trailer for Cocaine Bear
versus
#1 movie in the world?
I vote for fun underdog"
My top 10
1. Casablanca
2. Singin' in the Rain
3. Shall We Dance
4. After the Thin Man
5. On the Town
6. Notorious
7. Breathless
8. The Maltese Falcon
9. A Day at the Races
10. His Girl Friday
These are all old, old movies. The newest one was Breathless and that was 1959, otherwise known as 63 years ago.
My top 10 films were made years, decades, before I was born.
You can guess the skin color and the genitalia of the filmmakers, right?
But the problem with trying to whitewash the past, or make it pretty, or equalize everything, is that before you know it, your politics has overwhelmed your art criticism. In fact you're not even doing art criticism anymore. Your politics has swallowed up your art. (This, in fact, happened to Godard, who was also a film critic).
"When Godard went political, art lost a genius and politics got a moron.""
You know what happened. The rest is titillation. "
You know what I mean."
And, yes, black bears can and do invade houses. Not long ago I saw a YouTube video, probably taken by a nanny cam, where a lack hear turns the door handle with his mouth, enters the front door of a residence, stopping when only his back legs and butt are still outside. The bear looks around, then backs out, pulling the door closed behind it. You can see the door handle turn. That’s one of many videos on YouTube of security cam footage of black bears in houses. For myself, about three years ago I had a black bear up on my deck at midnight, raiding and destroying my bird feeders. Since then I bring my bird feeders in at dusk.
Yes black bears are good tree climbers (it’s grizzlies that can’t climb trees). And despite anything you may have heard about black bears being cowards, they can and do kill and eat humans. Just ask Derah Patel. Except you can’t because back in 2014 they found most of him near a trsil where he and four friends had deliberately gone to take pictures of a bear hat they were warned was acting aggressively. They found the rest of him in the bear’s stomach after Park rangers killed the beast."
You know what happened. The rest is titillation.
One day I hope to be in a conference room with a bunch of beautiful Woke feminists.
"You know a word I really like? Titillation. It's a great word! Isn't it? Titillation. TITillation. If I was a baby, I would be like, 'Can I have some more titillation, please?'""
The only thing that's true is that a smuggler dropped cocaine and a bear ate it. The bear did not go on a killing spree, it died.
"The movie does add some things."
LOL
I believe this movie was the true cause of death for Ray Liotta."
Meth Parrot - a group of high school kids are trapped in a hillbilly tweaker's remote house after breaking in on a dare. To their horror they find they are not alone. An enormous African Grey has accidentally ingested its owner's stash and is on a rampage. One by one the parrot talks them to death then cleans the house."
"high on cocaine"
these are great song lyrics!
we just need a musician to help us out."
A fitting send-off for Ray Liotta!"
How about Meth Monks?
https://www.vice.com/en/article/epz7ke/thailand-buddhist-monks-drug-test-meth"
Not Safe For Work!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkuPhs-Gjdw"
There's a contradiction, though, between heroically breaking up "the canon" of great films and expecting us to care about which movies critics think "best." The movie is Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles. I think I tried to watch it and didn't get very far into it. Cleo From 5 to 7 is also in the top 20. It's a better picture. When I read "Cocaine Bear" and "Elizabeth Banks," I thought, "Yes, I would rather watch the boring 1970s feminist film," but then I saw the still of lonely Jeanne peeling potatoes alone in her apartment and decided that if I were forced to choose, I'd have to pick the bear."
The crystal of the Christian Brothers?
"
Those monks were going so fast they could meditate for 8 hours in 45 minutes."
your mission
should you choose to accept it
get your audience to pay to see a larger work of art"
Woke politics is all about new, new, new.
Destroy the past.
Rewrite the past.
There is no biology.
There is no reality.
Destroy the past.
Rewrite the past.
Ideology is everything."
And then they count up the votes. So nobody votes on a "best film." You name your top 10. (Unless they changed the voting process, but that's how it's always been done, I think)."
Uh, no."
Uh, no."
--Screaming babies on a plane.
--Guy hacking up a lung on a plane.
--Man from a country where deodorant has yet to be invented, hasn't showered in months, the outside temperature is in the 90s, and he sits in your row.
--Sitting in the middle seat between two women who both need seatbelt extenders.
Now those are horror stories..."
It's vital to understand that these opinion polls are heavily slanted towards the left.
Citizen Kane is a great movie (I rate it #232, an A+). But there are multiple problems with the movie. The hero is actually an anti-hero and you're not supposed to like him. The left loves anti-heroes and it hates heroic people. The left wants everybody hopeless and helpless with no heroes in sight.
Know the left and you will probably despise anybody who says Citizen Kane is one of the 10 best movies ever made. My ass it is. Some clips from my review...
"Did they sell the kid to the bank? I think they sold him to the bank!"
Citizen Kane has amazing cinematography, sound, and acting. But the thing all the leftists love -- the screenplay -- is awkward and silly in places. And the movie is cold throughout.
"It's a negative film about humanity, really, and a sad film. And yet you don't cry for any of these characters. It's a brilliant and cold work of art."
I daresay ordinary people would never call Citizen Kane one of the top 10 movies ever made. (Unless people are blindly regurgitating their lesson learned from authorities!)
You know what most of us do with our top 10 films? We buy them! If you rate Citizen Kane one of the finest films ever made, but you don't own it and you don't watch it, well, guess what? You were indoctrinated to think that way."
Ordinary people love heroes."
This is spot-on. Lots of people might put a Spike Lee movie, or a feminist movie, in their top 10 to round out a list. And if a ton of people do that, then all of a sudden a feminist picture is the best movie ever made by anybody."
That's a legit classic from the French New Wave. I rate it #53.
Also, since we all have biases, you can probably guess mine.
Comedies! I love comedies. My movie book is definitely slanted towards art that makes me laugh hard."
The "funny kid who can't get laid" character says to the Parrot, "Polly want a crack whore?""
Breathless was 1960"
Aside: Dustbunny, kudos for attempting to insert the old Monty Python credits footnote gag of "Moose bites can be serious, a moose bit my sister once" in this comment section. Let's hope we aren't all sacked and replaced by new commenters."
The director also did The Name of the Rose."
"
It will beat “Raiders of the Lost Dentures”, you can take that to the bank."
I admit I give it an A+!
It's a legit top 10 pick (obviously).
What I should have said is that it's an elitist top 10 pick, not a populist one."
Never heard of it until this post.
Not being tuned into the 'latest thing' has its benefits."
Also, Keri Russell still looking good."
The only thing that's true is that a smuggler dropped cocaine and a bear ate it. The bear did not go on a killing spree
How do you KNOW, that the bear did not go on a killing spree? How do you KNOW, there wasn't a coverup?
Isn't the Absolute LACK of Any evidence of a coverup, PROOF of the Massive conspiracy to coverup?
How do we Even KNOW, that the cocaine bear Died? Just because they 'found' some bear, that they 'said' was the cocaine bear, does Not mean that The REAL Cocaine bear isn't STILL OUT THERE.
And, Still Jonesing for MORE COKE!!! "
"' Movie idea: Meth Parrot…'
How about Meth Monks?"
Ho about Meth Monk Parakeets?
(I live in a part of New England that has a year-round feral population of them. The first time I saw a flock of mid-sized, bright green parrots foraging in the snow, I thought I must have been hallucinating.)"
and when they get mad
"You need to stop your tittering. Stop your tittering right now!""
I can't believe she has been reduced to this."
Trailers are a very weird art form if you think about it
They sure are. Look at this recent one for the 4K release of Casablanca. I think it's brilliant and unlike any trailer for that movie that I've seen before, but some viewers think that it makes the movie seem like an action piece."